May The 16th.

When I was a little kid, I always imagining myself standing in front of the class, holding book in one hand and a cane in the other, watching over my students, tapping the cane onto my desk when they make mistake, throwing out my voice, loud and clear enough to be heard, recite the lesson and the students repeat it after me. 

7 years ago, I was in doubt, because my future was full of uncertainties. I was afraid that I might turn out not to be the person I always wanted to become. Walking down the road of contradict evaluation between my own judgment and other’s somehow depicted the question of : How am I going to shape myself into someone that can be considered as noble? 

Teaching is always become my passion. Remembering the saying: It doesn’t matter what kind of lamp may lit the darkness, it’s the light that matter. 

As time passes by, I’ve became clear and aware that my dream can be achieved, only it claims greater sacrifice and endless enthusiasm that sometimes I lost it along the way. What more can make my tear rolls down my cheeks, than realizing I have already achieve my greatest victory? Those faces that always getting on my nerves, strangers that they were once, yet now have become so noticeable, so sincere and so close to my heart. What else that matters than seeing those smiles on their faces, their joy and laughter, their purity of the heart, and on top of it, they have shown their appreciation towards your tiny effort? 

I may have said that I’m the strongest of all, nothing can touch my heart so deep… I have just assumed that I was totally wrong… When I held the roses in my hand, when they reached out their hands to give me their priceless gifts, those sincere words of 'Thank You' and 'I Love You' that took my soul away, at that moment I was already crying in my heart. My desk was full of gifts. And my heart was full of pride.

16th of May is my day. It will always be. Thanks to my students for those gifts and wishes. And my ex-students too. I am so touched. There is nothing that I can promise to give, except for this knowledge that will continue to grow and bloom. Behold my students… Behold. Happy Teachers’ Day to all the teachers out there. 

A simple wish from me : BE THE TEACHER TO CHANGE THE FUTURE.

I love you. Yes, you ! ^^

Happy Birthday

I can still remember the last day we sat together, before you were gone for good. You were so animated and chatty, a very unusual things for you whenever I'm around. You were talking nonstop and you smiled all the time. Then, suddenly, you stopped talking. Your eyes were fixed to the road as I was driving and you said nothing. I was began to wonder what was exactly on your mind, but I did not asked. I wanted you to tell me without being asked to. But you kept on silent for a while.

"Thank you." You paused.

"For everything." You resumed.

I took a deep breath. I did not know what to answer. How could I possibly respond to that when the truth is I have never done anything for you?

I left your remark without a response. I thought, that was the best option. Of not saying anything. Let everything be unspoken. You always said, I am the best although I did not know which part were you referring to. But still, I am flattered, because I know you were not that good with compliments. What is more in handling them. So when you said something good, I trust it whole-heartedly.

Today is your birthday. How I wish I could celebrate it with you, thanking Allah for his endless blessing. You are a good man, I know. You have such a noble heart, loving and a very tender feeling to be taken care of. You are so sweet, in your own way. There are too many to describe. Those specialness in you that only certain people are lucky enough to get those from you. And I am so honored and thankful, because I am one of them. Thank you my happiness booster.

You are the best.

Happy birthday. 

Happy brthday.

Happy birthday.

xoxo.

There Will Always Be Someone Like That

There will always be someone who magically catches your attention. Someone who would make you think about them all the time if it’s not everytime. Someone who tragically causes your heart to flip and bend and then get all straight again everytime you see his/her face. Someone who will make you want to care about, be there everytime she/he wants you to. There will always be someone like that. 

 I saw him for the first time and I grew all fond towards him. Regardless of my warmth approaches and extra tenderness, he was being all cynical and bitter towards me. He kind of served me with endless rejection and seclusion. He was never tried to make any effort to reconcile so I just watched him from a distance, knowing that he is doing all fine and collected. 

He put a barrier within our line. He keeps his kindness away so it will never be touched by anyone without his approval. And he will never tire of acting that way. He kind of enjoying it as time passes. Happy to see people come and go with massive demolition of hope and emotion. And again, he will be a all alone, living in a world only he can rule. 

It’s okay for him to hurt me. It feels good. It’s true. It feels good to know how it feels like to be hurt by someone whom you cared too much. 

As if you are bleeding, and no one is there, to mend it. 

Oh this is not love. This is beyond that.

I Don't Understand You .

Assalamualaikum .

It comes to my understanding that there are things in our live that need not to be understood , but to be accepted . And although it might sound a little bit ridiculous but yes , there are people who just don't know how to appreciate other kindness without being cynical and all question .

It's just my nature . To care for people , to understand them , to choose to love them instead of ignoring them and let them sink in their insanity . And sometimes , I chose one or two to get my extra attention along the way . With the sole intention that somehow I can leave mark in their lives , hopefully a positive one . And this is not easy I must say . One has to consume the act of randomness cause by emotional changes of people as the major living creatures on Earth . A homo sapien full of contradict behavior and beliefs and it's funny though how could a single thought of people upon your acts , words or behaviors affects your life so deeply , you just wanted to end it once and for all .

People's feeling is complicated .

Sometime you think you understand them where the truth is you don't know a shit about them . At all .

Oh Allah , whatever it is . I believe you choose the best for me . Amin!

Pillow Talk

Assalamualaikum , We had a great chat just now . At 1 in the morning . We were all so serious and stressed up . Not because we were fighting over stupid things like always , but it was more to a pour out session . I was actually pouring my burden to you . And you , like what you always did everytime I need you , you lend me your shoulders , your ears , your anticipation , your patience , and your two cents of thought . I love to hear your advise , your words , your cynical remarks over my stupidity , your cunning words and acts . And above all , I just love to sit and be there with you . I don't need any other excuses to be with you . I just love the feeling to be wanted and needed by you . And most of the times we were just killing time by talking nonsense and picking on each other .

You always taught me new things . And I am all noob and naive around you . You are good with words . You just know the perfect timing when to use it as your lethal ammo . As much as I hate it when you do that , I am pretty much adore it at times . You always fascinate me , although you always say that you are a walking boredom . Nope . Not for me . You are one of the most fascinating home-sapien I have ever met in my life .

I love this pillow talk session we have . It's like a ritual before we both hit the sack .

I love it , you know .

So let's do it more frequent . Until we run out of time .

><, Thank you , HB !