Happy Birthday

I can still remember the last day we sat together, before you were gone for good. You were so animated and chatty, a very unusual things for you whenever I'm around. You were talking nonstop and you smiled all the time. Then, suddenly, you stopped talking. Your eyes were fixed to the road as I was driving and you said nothing. I was began to wonder what was exactly on your mind, but I did not asked. I wanted you to tell me without being asked to. But you kept on silent for a while.

"Thank you." You paused.

"For everything." You resumed.

I took a deep breath. I did not know what to answer. How could I possibly respond to that when the truth is I have never done anything for you?

I left your remark without a response. I thought, that was the best option. Of not saying anything. Let everything be unspoken. You always said, I am the best although I did not know which part were you referring to. But still, I am flattered, because I know you were not that good with compliments. What is more in handling them. So when you said something good, I trust it whole-heartedly.

Today is your birthday. How I wish I could celebrate it with you, thanking Allah for his endless blessing. You are a good man, I know. You have such a noble heart, loving and a very tender feeling to be taken care of. You are so sweet, in your own way. There are too many to describe. Those specialness in you that only certain people are lucky enough to get those from you. And I am so honored and thankful, because I am one of them. Thank you my happiness booster.

You are the best.

Happy birthday. 

Happy brthday.

Happy birthday.

xoxo.

You Were Gone

We used to laugh and make fun of each other. But most of the time, I did the talking and you were on the listening part. When I was talking like there will be no tomorrow , sometime your eyes were glittering and sparkling and wincing animatedly, looking right on my face. Sometime you pouted your lips, tried really hard not to laugh over my silly jokes but in the end, you ended up laughing hysterically with eyes still fixed upon me. Those small details about you I hardly noticed before this, now it seems all coming to my consciousness. I began to notice how you walk gracefully, every step counted. How you would carry your shoulder, broad and confident, but at the same time it offers comfort and safety. How you left your sleeves folded, your spectacles rims fell over your nose, and your soothing-looking eyes hidden safely behind those glasses. Looking at the world with a warm heart as if the world is doing the same thing to you.

You were so nice to me before and you still does. Your words comfort me. I soon came to realize how nice you were to me all the time. ALL THE TIME. You always listen to me, yes you did. You listen to everything I said as if it matters you the most. You give your utmost attention to everything I said and everything I did. You gave me your best, you tried everything you could possibly think of to make me feel needed and wanted. You are a great listener. You listen. Whole-heartedly.

I'm sorry I did not treat you well before. I neglected you. I hurt you over and over again. I am truly sorry. I can feel the pain now, it's haunting me. What is more, now you are gone, the feeling of loss and missing you is sometime unbearable. It's taunting my emotional stability. I have to admit that I miss you. I miss the moment we used to have together. I miss the routine of us smiling to each other, I miss the part where you annoyingly asked me numerous time to check on my health, how you would gently forced me to take my medication and stuffs, I miss the time where we would bump into each other, look at each other for a brief moment, nod and then walk with a big smile plastered on each other face. Oh my Allah. I miss that.

I miss you.

Be good, take care of yourself, take care of your faith and Imaan. Take care of everything. I will always pray for you. Be a good man.

Do remember me :)