May The 16th.

When I was a little kid, I always imagining myself standing in front of the class, holding book in one hand and a cane in the other, watching over my students, tapping the cane onto my desk when they make mistake, throwing out my voice, loud and clear enough to be heard, recite the lesson and the students repeat it after me. 

7 years ago, I was in doubt, because my future was full of uncertainties. I was afraid that I might turn out not to be the person I always wanted to become. Walking down the road of contradict evaluation between my own judgment and other’s somehow depicted the question of : How am I going to shape myself into someone that can be considered as noble? 

Teaching is always become my passion. Remembering the saying: It doesn’t matter what kind of lamp may lit the darkness, it’s the light that matter. 

As time passes by, I’ve became clear and aware that my dream can be achieved, only it claims greater sacrifice and endless enthusiasm that sometimes I lost it along the way. What more can make my tear rolls down my cheeks, than realizing I have already achieve my greatest victory? Those faces that always getting on my nerves, strangers that they were once, yet now have become so noticeable, so sincere and so close to my heart. What else that matters than seeing those smiles on their faces, their joy and laughter, their purity of the heart, and on top of it, they have shown their appreciation towards your tiny effort? 

I may have said that I’m the strongest of all, nothing can touch my heart so deep… I have just assumed that I was totally wrong… When I held the roses in my hand, when they reached out their hands to give me their priceless gifts, those sincere words of 'Thank You' and 'I Love You' that took my soul away, at that moment I was already crying in my heart. My desk was full of gifts. And my heart was full of pride.

16th of May is my day. It will always be. Thanks to my students for those gifts and wishes. And my ex-students too. I am so touched. There is nothing that I can promise to give, except for this knowledge that will continue to grow and bloom. Behold my students… Behold. Happy Teachers’ Day to all the teachers out there. 

A simple wish from me : BE THE TEACHER TO CHANGE THE FUTURE.

I love you. Yes, you ! ^^

I Don't Understand You .

Assalamualaikum .

It comes to my understanding that there are things in our live that need not to be understood , but to be accepted . And although it might sound a little bit ridiculous but yes , there are people who just don't know how to appreciate other kindness without being cynical and all question .

It's just my nature . To care for people , to understand them , to choose to love them instead of ignoring them and let them sink in their insanity . And sometimes , I chose one or two to get my extra attention along the way . With the sole intention that somehow I can leave mark in their lives , hopefully a positive one . And this is not easy I must say . One has to consume the act of randomness cause by emotional changes of people as the major living creatures on Earth . A homo sapien full of contradict behavior and beliefs and it's funny though how could a single thought of people upon your acts , words or behaviors affects your life so deeply , you just wanted to end it once and for all .

People's feeling is complicated .

Sometime you think you understand them where the truth is you don't know a shit about them . At all .

Oh Allah , whatever it is . I believe you choose the best for me . Amin!

The Last Day Of School . Pure Bliss Of Heaven !

Assalamualaikum . Forgive my long disappearance . Well , I don't know if my blog has any reader except for myself . So , I guess an occasional disappearance would be forgiven then . Never mind . Ah yesterday was my last day of school . I am totally hysteric . This means , endless hour of sleeping , online , Facebook-ing , Twitter-ing , SMS -ing with loved ones , gossiping with old school mates , loitering and basically doing nothing without having to fear of wasting time and such .

Oh and I have a mission to be accomplished though . A mission of what heard to be impossible . Loosing weight . Well , we will see . I am craving for chocolate these days . And sweets . And crackers . And oh so many things to mention and yeah , too lazy to get off my ass from bed to shake off some fat . I love them as mush as they do love me . We are hard to separate . Bahaha !

Works are all done . Tremendously finished I must say . Phew . And 2012 school session ends with quite a show , though . A happy one . I spill out some , later .

This is my outfit for the last day of school .

I will update more later . Till then , bubye !

I had Enough

When someone is trying to be you direct opposition, somehow you will feel threatened. Not only because he / she is now becoming the major attention of your stress, but she / he will slowly make your self – esteem receding. So you have to be extra cautious. Never let someone like this brings you down. You are your own strength.

I faced this kind of situation quite so many times in my life. When peoples are trying to be your only obstacle. The fact that they can’t handle the overwhelming aura you bring will only make them hurt you even more. They will try to slow you down, they will make thing hard on you, they will demolishing your effort, and they will do anything. Just to make sure, you are vulnerable enough to their emotional tortures that in the end will make you go nuts.

There’s nothing you can do but to fight back. Not with physical strength but you can always win by outsmarting them. Do not give them any single loop that can be their weapon to crush you. What I did was, I never give them a chance to finger – point at me. I did my work excellently, on time and efficiently. I always one step ahead of everyone. And it did work.

You should try this once in a while. Enough of being shut off.

Cold Hearted. But You Are Not Edward Cullen. NO!

I wish I have super power to stop you from being mean to everyone. Seriously I don't know what's wrong with you. Maybe you hit your head too hard on something and it's caused you a mental damage.

Sometimes, I pity on you. I know you have a hard life. I know you are lonely and that's why you want everybody to feel your loneliness and emptiness deep down inside your soul. I know you are suffering inside. But that doesn't mean you have to be hard on people around you. That will only makes thing harder.

I never thought, people like you could have done something despicable like that.

But I'm totally wrong.

I think, you have an issue with yourself. Or maybe, you have an unhappy life during your childhood.

That's why you turned out like this.

Like a total wrecked-soul.

A monster.

Great Teachers

They say, we are not a good teacher. We are not able to teach. We can’t make student becomes clever.

So,

Please tell me, or better show me HOW TO BECOME A GOOD TEACHER.

I want YOU to show me.

SHOW me what you’ve got. Bring it on!.

How Will I Survive

This question keeps on popping in my head for quite sometimes which to be frank, I don't know the answer. I would probably say that I'm not going to make it. It sounds lame, but I think that's the truth so far. I can't even stand the madness overwhelming this noble profession nowadays. Noble profession, aey?

It WAS a noble profession. And it's not anymore.