May The 16th.

When I was a little kid, I always imagining myself standing in front of the class, holding book in one hand and a cane in the other, watching over my students, tapping the cane onto my desk when they make mistake, throwing out my voice, loud and clear enough to be heard, recite the lesson and the students repeat it after me. 

7 years ago, I was in doubt, because my future was full of uncertainties. I was afraid that I might turn out not to be the person I always wanted to become. Walking down the road of contradict evaluation between my own judgment and other’s somehow depicted the question of : How am I going to shape myself into someone that can be considered as noble? 

Teaching is always become my passion. Remembering the saying: It doesn’t matter what kind of lamp may lit the darkness, it’s the light that matter. 

As time passes by, I’ve became clear and aware that my dream can be achieved, only it claims greater sacrifice and endless enthusiasm that sometimes I lost it along the way. What more can make my tear rolls down my cheeks, than realizing I have already achieve my greatest victory? Those faces that always getting on my nerves, strangers that they were once, yet now have become so noticeable, so sincere and so close to my heart. What else that matters than seeing those smiles on their faces, their joy and laughter, their purity of the heart, and on top of it, they have shown their appreciation towards your tiny effort? 

I may have said that I’m the strongest of all, nothing can touch my heart so deep… I have just assumed that I was totally wrong… When I held the roses in my hand, when they reached out their hands to give me their priceless gifts, those sincere words of 'Thank You' and 'I Love You' that took my soul away, at that moment I was already crying in my heart. My desk was full of gifts. And my heart was full of pride.

16th of May is my day. It will always be. Thanks to my students for those gifts and wishes. And my ex-students too. I am so touched. There is nothing that I can promise to give, except for this knowledge that will continue to grow and bloom. Behold my students… Behold. Happy Teachers’ Day to all the teachers out there. 

A simple wish from me : BE THE TEACHER TO CHANGE THE FUTURE.

I love you. Yes, you ! ^^

Behind This Goofy Face And Smooch Smile

You may find me laughing and talking nonsense all the times. You may also find me crack the silence with my silly jokes and whole load shit of stories. You can spot me in a distance, catch my voice pass your ears, and smell my nose-striking perfume before I actually arrive and laughing like hell over my every single act of inappropriateness.

But hey, you forgot something. I am too a human. An ordinary human being who know definitely what it’s like to be hurt, emotionally to be exact. It is still okay if you mock my clumsiness, but to mark me with those acts and words of suggesting an idiocy, I think that is a clear judgment of an insolent rude.

Thank you.

 Mock mock mock.

Happy Birthday

I can still remember the last day we sat together, before you were gone for good. You were so animated and chatty, a very unusual things for you whenever I'm around. You were talking nonstop and you smiled all the time. Then, suddenly, you stopped talking. Your eyes were fixed to the road as I was driving and you said nothing. I was began to wonder what was exactly on your mind, but I did not asked. I wanted you to tell me without being asked to. But you kept on silent for a while.

"Thank you." You paused.

"For everything." You resumed.

I took a deep breath. I did not know what to answer. How could I possibly respond to that when the truth is I have never done anything for you?

I left your remark without a response. I thought, that was the best option. Of not saying anything. Let everything be unspoken. You always said, I am the best although I did not know which part were you referring to. But still, I am flattered, because I know you were not that good with compliments. What is more in handling them. So when you said something good, I trust it whole-heartedly.

Today is your birthday. How I wish I could celebrate it with you, thanking Allah for his endless blessing. You are a good man, I know. You have such a noble heart, loving and a very tender feeling to be taken care of. You are so sweet, in your own way. There are too many to describe. Those specialness in you that only certain people are lucky enough to get those from you. And I am so honored and thankful, because I am one of them. Thank you my happiness booster.

You are the best.

Happy birthday. 

Happy brthday.

Happy birthday.

xoxo.

You Were Gone

We used to laugh and make fun of each other. But most of the time, I did the talking and you were on the listening part. When I was talking like there will be no tomorrow , sometime your eyes were glittering and sparkling and wincing animatedly, looking right on my face. Sometime you pouted your lips, tried really hard not to laugh over my silly jokes but in the end, you ended up laughing hysterically with eyes still fixed upon me. Those small details about you I hardly noticed before this, now it seems all coming to my consciousness. I began to notice how you walk gracefully, every step counted. How you would carry your shoulder, broad and confident, but at the same time it offers comfort and safety. How you left your sleeves folded, your spectacles rims fell over your nose, and your soothing-looking eyes hidden safely behind those glasses. Looking at the world with a warm heart as if the world is doing the same thing to you.

You were so nice to me before and you still does. Your words comfort me. I soon came to realize how nice you were to me all the time. ALL THE TIME. You always listen to me, yes you did. You listen to everything I said as if it matters you the most. You give your utmost attention to everything I said and everything I did. You gave me your best, you tried everything you could possibly think of to make me feel needed and wanted. You are a great listener. You listen. Whole-heartedly.

I'm sorry I did not treat you well before. I neglected you. I hurt you over and over again. I am truly sorry. I can feel the pain now, it's haunting me. What is more, now you are gone, the feeling of loss and missing you is sometime unbearable. It's taunting my emotional stability. I have to admit that I miss you. I miss the moment we used to have together. I miss the routine of us smiling to each other, I miss the part where you annoyingly asked me numerous time to check on my health, how you would gently forced me to take my medication and stuffs, I miss the time where we would bump into each other, look at each other for a brief moment, nod and then walk with a big smile plastered on each other face. Oh my Allah. I miss that.

I miss you.

Be good, take care of yourself, take care of your faith and Imaan. Take care of everything. I will always pray for you. Be a good man.

Do remember me :)